And That’s How the Fight Started

I just got this in my email the other day and I thought it was pretty funny so I posted it online for your pleasure. Check out these funny jokes.

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Tombstone

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

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I Love Lucy on TV

My wife walked into the den & asked “What’s on the TV?” I replied “Dust”.

And that’s how the fight started…..

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Ugly Lady

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And that’s how the fight started…..

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Scale

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale.

And that’s how the fight started…..

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Old Kitchen

I asked my wife, ‘Where do you want to go for our anniversary?’

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said.

So I suggested, ‘How about the kitchen?’

And that’s how the fight started….

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Cell Phone

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have
sex?’

‘No,’ she answered.

I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying ‘Yes.’

So I said, ‘Then I’d like to phone a friend.’

And that’s how the fight started….

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Broken Down Gas Station

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that’s how the fight started…..

Obamicon Yourself

Hopeless Obamicon

Everyone has seen the famous poster of Obama created by Shepard Fairey. Well now’s your chance to create your very own poster in the same style.

Obamicon Me lets you upload a photo of your own or use your webcam to take a picture, choose a message and submit it to the gallery.

ONce you’ve created your poster, you can download it to your computer or you can even have it applied to a gift, such as a tshirt, coffee mug, mousepad, business card, etc.

They also provide an easy way to add your poster to Facebook, Twitter or send to your friends via email. How do you like mine?

Working lunch

Most of us work in some sort of office environment. And in doing so, being the observational kind of people we are, we notice things around the office- how people act, what they’re doing, what they’re not doing, how they talk to people, who they talk to, etc. A fun little comedy series, Working Lunch, has made the not-so-funny day to day routine we live into funny, thought provoking articles and mini series. My favorite is article is Social Anxiety.

So I went out and bought a red jump suit and a red hat and borrowed some gold rings and a necklace from my sister — pretty much like some of those guys in the video had on. And before I got to the office, I stopped off to get some coffee, and there were a bunch of guys outside all dressed in blue. And one of them seemed real nice. And he asked me if I really liked red. So, keeping direct eye contact with him just like I had practiced with my therapist, I started telling him about my plan to dress differently. And then these six guys, well, they said if I didn’t get out of there, they’d kill me. Then they chased me down the street. I had to leave my car and walk the rest of the way to the office.

Jizzing In Your Pants Is Funny

You don’t jizz in your pants when you pluck a grape do you? Or when a breeze comes through the window? The guys in this music video do. They jizz in their pants at any small thing that might have any tiny effect on their lives.

This video is really stupid, but I’m very immature and a huge fan of potty humor, so I think it’s great. Check it out.

Preheatable Plates Keep Your Food Warm

Dining Plates

If you’ve ever eaten food before (I sure hope so or you’re probably dead), you’ll know that your meal will always cool down too much before you’re done eating. This is where the Dining Stones can help. They take about 15 minutes to warm up and can keep a temperature of up to 220 degrees even after 45 minutes.

Of course you might have already tried electric plate warmers, and if you have you know they usually suck and aren’t particularly very fancy either. These dining stones are much better looking and cooler too.

They are made of granite stone discs, which you can purchase in several different colors to match the rest of your stuff, as well as different kinds of wooden trays to hold the stones in.

Sounds pretty cool to me, but I have a huge problem of letting my food get cold because I can’t stay off the computer. These things are gonna be awesome for my own personal use.

I’m not sure if this is just a really cool idea for home or something you might want to invest in. Wait, I don’t think people are investing anymore. So I guess it’s just a good idea for home then.

Gay Weatherman Freaks Out

If you put a cockroach next to a gay weatherman, what do you think the result will be? I don’t think you even need to wonder, the answer is obvious. Take a look at this video and get the result you already expect.

Cute Things Falling Asleep Are Awesome

I guess Cute Things Falling Asleep was just mentioned on CNN news or something and they’ve been getting tons of new traffic. I’m glad too or I’d have never heard about the site, and I think these videos are hilarious.

Everybody loves cute things right, and it’s always that much cuter watching them fall asleep. I always get a kick out watching kids trying to keep their heads up. Check out some videos below and visit the site for a bunch more.

DJ Your Own Music Station

BLIP.fm is a cool website that lets you create your own music station that you and your friends get to DJ all on your own.

You have complete control over what your listeners get to hear. Of course you have to consider people’s likes and dislikes on your station if you’re hoping to go pro.

For example, I listen to just about everything, but if I create a station with a mix of heavy metal music and hip-hop, I likely won’t have many return visitors.

BUT, this is yours and your friends station right, so all that really matters in the end is what all of you like. I’d be very interested in hearing what my friends like that I never really knew about.

I’m gonna try to get all my friends in on this one this weekend.

Go Clubbing From Your Bedroom

clubbing-social-network

Are you the clubbing party-going type? I use to be, but not really so much anymore, but there has been plenty of times where I wish I could’ve gone out but there was just nobody around to go with. I think this is what Be At TV was created for.

Be At TV provided full video coverage of some of the hottest and biggest clubbing events happening around the world. This social networking site covers events, DJs and clubs all over the globe and gives you as close an experience as you can get without being there in person.

Yeah, it sucks not being able to party in person, but if you live in Denver and don’t have the money to fly to London, at least you won’t miss out on the entire event. Be At TV displays footage from four camera angles which show everything you could be interested in; the dance floor, the DJ booth and individual clubbers.

Now go…into your room…and party..

Live Inauguration Coverage: Watch Online

live-cnn-inauguration

There are lots of places to watch the inauguration today and Lifehacker put together the ultimate resource; Lifehacker’s Guide to Catching the Inauguration from Anywhere.

This is history in the making, so you don’t want to miss a minute of it. Go through all the various resources and figure out which one you’d like to watch. I already tried the new Ustream app on the iPhone and the connection kept timing out just so you know. I’ve decided to use the CNN video feed myself and I like this one the best so far.